give me everything tonight -- chris

[mahkenzie lee garland]

( w i l d , h o r s e s , I , w a n n a , b e , l i k e , y o u )
THROWING CAUTION TO THE WIND, I'LL RUN FREE TOO

Kenzie took a swift drag off of the camel menthol cigarette letting the smoke swirl in her lungs as she tossed it, squashing it with her Tony Lama boot heel before exhaling and walking into the building of the club. She knew that was not good to be doing in the shape that she was in, bu she honestly needed it more than ever. Sighing a little she looked down at her holy jeans, boots, and simple white lacy tank top. Her tanned skin contrasted against the tank top, and her mocha hair danced down her bust line. She was not wearing too much make, simply some eye liner, which was all the simple girl ever wore. She could already feel herself tensing up. She was not big on the social scene, but she figured she might as well meet some new friends as she was in a new place, and she needed someone. She entered the smoky bar with a slight hesitation before the music hit her ears, almost stopping her in her tracks. She knew the song, and she knew the voice as well.

Kenzie was a small town girl, things were simple and so was she. Dallas, was a big town, but living on the outskirts, on a simple ranch, made her the way she was. She was not too outgoing, but she could get things done. One thing she knew was her horses. Her horses were first and for most for her. Since she was toddler she was taught how to rope and ride, and she lived for it. Being a rodeo queen was just for shits and giggles really, her true passion was the training. Taking an unbroke colt, and working with him until he would do whatever, and anything you told him to do, then selling him, and watching him make someone a lifetime friend, that was the true pay off. Though she had two horses she would never sell not ever.

After her one night stand she had left, knowing that she had possibly made a huge mistake. She was afraid. She didn't want to fall for him; she didn't want to love him. Everytime she gave her love all she got was hurt. It had been a month and a half now since she had seen him. Ignoring his phone calls, and his texts. One might ask why she had done this. And it was not out of spite. First she just needed to get her thoughts together. Then came the morning sickness. Then came the cravings. It was only three days ago that she had bought an ept and it had given her positive. Thirteen times positive to be exact. Not only was she wondering about how she would tell her Father. But what about Chris... how would she tell him. She highly doubted he wanted to have a child with a woman he had only known for a few hours.

Thinking of drinks, Kenzie turned on her heels, hair whipping back around as she moved towards the bar, leaning over it gently and smiling at the tender. "Can I get a tall glass of pepsi please." Though the bartender looked a little taken aback by her order, he had been expecting something fruity, but not for her. Once the drink was placed before her, she handed him to money for it, then lifted the glass to her lips, taking a good swallow off of it, welcoming the burn in her throat. Sighing she turned back around leaning back against the mahogany wood. There was so much blowing through the slight blonde's mind, and no where to store it all. She was lost. She never should have come here. Never should have slept with him, and never should have done it without a condom.

Kenzie was a barrel racer, and she was damn good at it. Her horse was fast, and he knew his pattern. All she had to do was sit there, and hang on. She loved the thrill of knowing her horse could slip, she could get hurt, and the thrill of knowing that prize money was going home with her when she scored a 14.5 on the last run of her season. Mikey was a good horse, and the dapple would do anything and everything for her when it came down to him doing his job. Travis on the other hand, did the bulls, and that was a sprt all it own. She had watched him a couple times, and boy did she want to give it a whirl, but there was no way in hell that Daddy would ever let her climb on a bull, he knew the pains first hand that those animals could cause. Not for Kenz.

Kenzie sat alone at the bar, her hand clasping a new drink as someone sang along with the band on the other side of her. She was enjoying the drink, though it stung her throat. She was never a drinker, and never really would be, but something about the night that was flourishing around her caused her to have a few more than the normal. She enjoyed this drink, even though it's poison was strong, and she would more than likely have to pay for a cab to bring her home. She knew this well, and she would never drink and drive. Her Father would murder her if he ever found, and if she did, that man would find out. And Kenzie as we know it, would probably be no more. So she sipped lightly on it, as if sipping slower and less in one time would help keep her from becoming intoxicated. She glanced around the bar, hoping to see anyone that would strike up a good time. She could only pray someone would come along.

( w i s h , i , c o u l d , r e c k l e s s l y , l o v e )
LIKE I'M LONGING TO

WORDS ::

958
TAGGED :: carlos
NOTES :: pah shoulda been longer
MUSE :: haha overflowing
STATUS :: open
CREDIT :: This Template was made by tarjarose @ Caution 2.0

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[christopher peyton james]

Chris needed a night out. He hadn't met anyone since Kenzie. He hadn't wanted to. That night and that morning, so alive, so attracted. So together. She had left. She had left him. That he was certain. It wasn't all cliche, like in the movies. It wasn't that he figured he would be better off without her. He had tried to call more than a few times a day. He texted more than that. Never got a hello from that sweet voice of hers, and never got a reply. He wasn't depressed, he learned that life went on, after Maggie died. He missed her though, damn did he miss her.

He thought about her on a daily basis. He thought about her smile, her laugh, her eyes. The sex, that too, but not near as much. He pictured her scar. He could smell her sweet perfume. He could taste her lips. His visual imagery of that night was nothing but a faint memory now, but for some reason he didn't regret it. She had chosed to give herself to him completely, in every way a woman can physically. It had been amazing for him. Maybe it wasn't for her. Maybe she didn't really want him, maybe she really was just caught up in the moment. But had stopped. He had asked her. She had persuaded him with a kiss so passionate, there could be no other answer than yes. He was lost.

He found himself at this little bar, nearly every night. He was not into the social scene very hard, he wasn't a party person. He wasn't a crowd person. He didn't smoke and he hardly ever had a drink, not since he got himself out of depression. He had been a raging alcoholic after Maggie's death. But once he sobered up, he stayed away from the stuff. It was a few strides, before he found himself headed towards the bar, and a few moments before he realized he had a shot of crown sitting in front of him. He found a seat, and downed another one. He wasn't noticing much around him, his thoughts had the power to block everything out; sounds, light, people. He was on a long slide down the slippery slope. He downed a second shot of crown. He knew this was how it would begin.

Don't let his amount of alcohol fool you, he could hold it well. Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. However, he had been an alcoholic in recovery. Ordinarily, it took him about five shots to be tipsy. He ordered another, knowing that if he did more than three shots of the vulgar, burning liquid, it would be all over. This was his final shot. He drank it down, laying his head on the bar. The bartender giving him funny looks. Once again, this isn't the movies, the bartenders dont actually talk to you and give you advice on what to do.

He had noticed a woman standing to his left, her back was to him, but in the dark bar lighting, he hadn't noticed who it was. He thought her hair and backside looked vaguely familiar, but that could be the alcohol talking. Then it hit him, that was her. The girl who wrecked the last month and a half for him. The one who left him laying naked in his bed, without so much as a goodbye. He was hurt. He was angry. He was pissed, actually. All these emotions of anger and sadness, and yet, he wanted her back. He wanted to feel her lips on his.

Maybe it was his fault. Maybe. What if. All of those predetermined thoughts went through his pretty little head. Before he knew what he was doing, he found the words coming from his mouth Well, Well, Well, if it isn't little miss Dallas. He got up from his chair. He took her virginity and she took his heart. He thought it a fair trade, but he still wanted to get some things out in the open. For instance, why?

[mahkenzie lee garland]

So things had been a littel rocky to say the least since she had walked out the door of his apartment. She had made promises to call him, and to come back. Yet, she had not stayed true to her words. She knew that was wrong, and she should not blame him, or hold it against him that she had done what she had done with him. He had given her an out; given her way to back out without offending or ruining anything. However, she had continued. So there was really no one to blame but herself. It took two to tango, and that was that. She should have known she would regret it later. She had a moment of weakness, that was all it truly amounted to. And she was not sure why she was so utterly pissed off at him.

Now don't get her wrong, everything about that day and night had been amazing. He was perfect in every sense of the word. His body was to die for, his personality was the best she had ever seen in a guy, and his eyes. Something about his eyes drove her wild. Like as if he could see right through her and read her like an open book. That scared her. She didn't want to be hurt. And she didn't want him to know her secrets. She didn't want him to know the full story of David's death, or the things her own Mother had said to her. THose memories were better off locked away forever. And ever though Kenzie was trying so desperately to forget what had happened and just move on with her life. But there was just one huge problem with that.

MahKenzie Lee Garland was absolutely pregnant. There was no other way to look at it. And obviously it was his. She had never been with anyone else. And he knew that for a fact, and she had not been with anyone since. She hadn't even spoken to another guy since that night, let alone sleep with them. And of course, being the christian she was, she did not believe in abortion. Or adoption. Your child... You take care of him or her. She knew what she had to do. And that was why she was at a bar drinking pepsi. Of course, she had not come to the bar to get wasted. She was making an effot to make friends. Meet new people.. Maybe anyone that would be there for her through this mess. Because she was not even sure she was going to tell Chris. She cared about him.

Exactly, she cared about him. She didn't need to ruin his life with this... accident. He was young, and she was sure he had many other plans in his future. He had spoken about traveling being his passion. Well, with a child traveling was not really an option. A child needed stability, and a home. Not to be traveling all over the world. She didn't want Chris to have to put a stop to his life all for just that one night of pleasure. She cared for him, and she could not deny it. And what she was doing was trying to protect him. Even though she knew it was the wrong way to protect him. She was making all the wrong decisions. She even wondered if she should just go back home. She had nothing here. A dog. That's what she had here. Her Family, her horses, her friends; they were all back in Dallas. And she was beginning to wonder if that's where she should be.

She was back to the seats next to her glancing out onto the floor. Watching the couple dance, almost wishing she was out there. But not with just anyone. Chris. A voice rang out in her ear. Miss Dallas? Shit. Kenzie turned on her chair. There he was. All six feet something inches of him. He was moving towards her. And he obviously was intoxicated enough for her to claim she was someone else. So she was stuck. She could read him slightly. And she could see a mixture of pain and anger in his eyes. "Hi, Christopher." she said softly. She looked timid. And she should be. She had done something to this man that no woman should ever do. She knew that. Left him there, in his bed, and had never looked back. Well, Karma's a bitch and it all caught up to her now.

[christopher peyton james]

Chris heard his first name. Nobody but his mother ever said the whole version of it. He bit his lip, then clenched his teeth together, the lines of his jaw flinching. He was sure she could see them. He was wondering what she was doing at a bar. Trying to pick someone up? Waiting on someone? His voice was full of anger, full of regret, though he regretted nothing, but his next words. You know, maybe that was a mistake. Maybe falling for you was my mistake. Were you even a virgin, or did you just say that so i would feel worse when you left? He knew his anger was peaking for him. He knew she was a virgin, he trusted her, even to this very moment, he trusted her. I mean Christ Kenz. Why? Just tell me why. He was beginning to raise his voice, knowing this was going to turn into an all our vocal brawl, that the whole place would hear them before it was over.

[mahkenzie lee garland]

Kenzie watched him, studying his every move. It was obvious she was nervous. No she was not afraid that he would hit her. She knew he was not that kind of man. But she had the odd feeling that this was soon going to become a fight. She expected him to say mean things, and she knew herself. She didn't back down and she knew she would say hurtful things too. So she knew she had to prepare for this. She could he was angry. His jaw was clenching, she could see it. And his eyes, well they told a better picture. He was pissed off.

His words. Was she waiting for someone. That hit her like a nine pound hammer. But never had she expected him to question if she was a virgin that was just hurtful. And she slid from her barstool. His words were begging her to tell him why she had done what she had done. But soon the anger was rising up in her as well. Her fuse was getting shorter and finally it ignited. "Well... hmm what was I? Just another notch on your bedpost? I am thinking so. Falling for me? Good one. I may be young, but I am not stupid. Don't play games with me." She spouted off angrilly. It was easy to see by the way she spit out those words that she was angry. And they were hurtful. But she really didn't care after what he said to her.

[christopher peyton james]

Really? Do you not remember me stopping? Do you not remember me asking if you were sure? What is this bull shit anyway. Was it not obvious that I care about you? You think I would just do that to you? If you think I am that kind of person, maybe it's a good thing you left, because you obviously don't know the first damn thing about me.

He shook his head. He really wanted a wall to punch at the present moment. He had all this anger boiling up, and his head hurt. his heart ached. he wanted to just kiss her and tell her he loved her. Ya, most people would think it too soon. A glass of sweet tea, a one night stand, somehow he doubted that was people's pictures of love. But the trouble with people, they didn't know what love was. He did. He had Maggie to prove it. And what hurt him even more, was that he thought he loved, and would always love Maggie more than anything in the world, but he realized he loved her more. This woman, in front of him, calling him nothing less than a man-whore.

You know I was sincere, I can see it in your eyes. It is you who ran out, you who bailed. You didn't want to take a chance, your little country walls are just built up so high that you don't let anyone in...right? He was just rubbing salt in her wounds. He didn't care about anything except her; and now she was putting him down. He didn't care who knew it. He loved this woman. That month a half had given him a lot of time to think, a lot of time to reminisce, a lot of time to remember what love felt like.


(ooc: maybe she should slap him and thats why he starts to walk away, then she drops the bomb. hahah so exciting...whenever you want to/if you want to, that will be like his que to leave...we can fight a while tho.all up to u..haha..)

[mahkenzie lee garland]

His words were like a slap across the face, yet she continued to hold her composure. She was normally pretty good about that. And she prided herself. But he was really pushing at her buttons. And she knew that he knew he was pushing her. She was didn't want to scream. She didn't want to bring attention to them. Even though she could see many turning to look to see what the commotion was about; and she knew the commotion was just getting started. She knew this for sure.

She hadn't said anything back to his first statement, she knew there was more to come. And as usual the beauty was right. Sometimes she hated being right all the time. She didn't like the things he was saying one bit. She was a classy female. But she was country, and he was bringing that side of her out. "Of course I know nothing about you. We spent like two hours together. Then I made the biggest damn mistake of my life. Is that what you wanted to hear? You were nothing but a god damn mistake." She paused for a moment taking a step closer to him poking her little finger into his chest. "Did you ever think the reason why I don't let anyone in is because of people like you. Who want to throw everything right back in my face. Don't worry it won't happen again, dear. Why would I wanna stay with you? So I can end up dead like Maggie? Riding in a snowstorm. Smart." so maybe she added the 'dear' for insult to injury but hey. She was angry.

[christopher peyton james]

Chris heard her words. Felt a sharp finger on his chest. He shook his head and kind of laughed. She was really pushing his buttons. He had no fight in him, but he was no where near giving up. He hated fighting with her, but he wanted to know why, and he still hadn't gotten that out of her yet.

Really a mistake? Well I am happy to say that you weren't a mistake. Happy? The world once again revolves around you Miss Mackenzie. You are the one that should be ashamed. Taking advantage of me when I was down. You may have been a virgin, but honey you were no damn angel! What would your "daddy" say? He poked her back. Mostly for affect, he didn't poke hard enough to hurt her, but he was happy to have touched her again, as silly as that sounded.

He said daddy in a tone that imitated her's, a slight country twang, trying to imitate just the way he pictured her saying it, for added insult of course.

Then he heard Maggie's name. He heard her statement.

Well I am guessing your brother didn't die of his own accord either, but I seem to forget, you didn't tell me that story. Maybe that's because you feel guilty about something? Why don't you share with the damn group, Mackenzie! Is that what that nasty little scar is from? Something to do with that? He regretted this whole conversation but that didn't stop him from throwing his arms up in the air, and looking around like there was something to see. He looked at her then. He felt horrible for bringing him up, but she had crossed a major boundary with her last statement. She knew the story, how dare her bring it up.

[mahkenzie lee garland]

Kenzie laughed slightly at his statement about her being no angel. She had never said she was, in fact, she knew she was not perfect. But those words coming out of his mouth, well, they were slightly infuriating. So this was the guy she lost her virginity too. She had been all wrong about him he was just like all the others. And she should have known better to think he was different. Though his first statement didn't affect her too much, but she could see it in his eyes that worse was to come. She had struck a cord with her word's about Maggie, and she knew it was wrong to say it. but it was too late to take it back now.

He brought up David. Semi blaming her for his death. Now that was the last straw. "You want to know? My brother and three other kid's were hit while walking home from school by a drunk driver. I was suppose to go walk him home and I didn't, and he died. Happy asshole?" Tears streamed down her face, and she couldn't control herself anymore. She raised her hand, her palm connecting hard with his cheek. "How dare you bring an innocent child's death into this. What the hell kind of person are you anyways. And my scar... that's from when I broke my back when a horse flipped on me. Not from riding in a snowstorm though. Just because he was a horse." she screamed at him. The tears still fell down her cheeks. What was she doing.

[christopher peyton james]

Chris shook his head. He knew it had hurt her, he knew the tears were real. He wanted to comfort her, but he knew he wouldn't never touch her again. After she blamed him for Maggie's death, that was it. He would get over her jsut like she wanted him to.

Really? So maybe if you had gone and got him and walked him home, he would still be alive He didn't address her scar, just then he felt her hand hard across his face. So you blame Maggie's death on me and then hit me when I hurt you just as much? Nice Kenzie, real classy. I am done here. He turned his back to her. He never cried, men don't cry, but his eyes were wet. No tears fell though, he managed to keep it together. He began to walk away. He got over the death of his first love, and he could get over Kenzie too. I never want to see her face again He knew this was a direct lie, but this was something an apology wouldn't fix.

[mahkenzie lee garland]

Kenzie heard his words again about her brother, but he said he was done here. And she was slightly relieved. But then she remembered. She had to tell him. She could not just keep the pregnancy a secret from him. It would not be fair to him, and her child having to grow up without a Father was not going to happen. So as he walked off she drank the rest of her pepsi and tossed a twenty onto the bar before rushing after him. She had no idea how she was going to say it. That had been a pretty damn agressive fight, and a lot of mean things had been said. She probably should have told him this first, and it would have saved them a lot of fighting and hurt. But she hadn't. Another mistake.

However, she needed to stop lying to herself. He was no mistake. She could try and try to say that all she wanted, but she was not fooling anyone. Except for him, it appeared. He was hurt, she had seen his eyes dampen, but he was not crying. She was, and she didn't try and hide it either. She followed him, the cooler night air greeting her skin, causing goose bumps to rise up on her arms. "Chris! Wait." she yelled to him. How was she going to say this. She knew no other way. "Chris, I am pregnant. Please come back here." she pleaded with him. The tears still streaming down her face. She was terrified he would not turn around, and he would just walk away, and out of her life.

[christopher peyton james]

Chris was walking at a pretty fast pace. His plan was to go home, pack and leave. That was his scape goat. Afterall, she was his only reason to stay, and now he had been deamed as the biggest mistake ever. He was not going to sit around. He heard footsteps behind him. She heard her ask him to wait. Just leave me alone, you have done enough! He wiped his eyes. He heard the word. Pregnant. This word stopped him in his tracks. He didn't turn around. He didn't go to her. His heart filled with joy, he knew it was his. He may have been a mistake, but she was no slut. Far from it. Then his head told his heart to get over it. He was twenty two, no way was he ready to be a parent, and with a woman that hated his guts. This was turning out to be a horrible day, not because of the news, but because of the fight. They both said some really mean things, a simple apology wouldn't do. He kept his back to her

How long have you known? And why is this the first I have heard?

[mahkenzie lee garland]

She knew no apology could fix the damamge that had been done between the two, but she was willing to try. She had no option when it came to this. It was not about her anymore. She had a little one to look out for. And it was not like she hated him, she liked him, a lot. That is what scared her into running from him. She knew that things were going to take time to mend. But she hoped... maybe they could be mended. At some point.

She sighed. He had told her to leave him a lone but when she uttered that last statement it's like his feet were cemented in place. He asked how long she had known, and why she had not told him before. She sighed throwing her hands down. The tears still coming. She was not sure what was causing them. All the nasty things that were said. or the thought of losing the only good thing she had coming to her. "Three days. And because I wasn't going to tell you. Why ruin your life over this." she said the last part quietly. She was scared of what he might say... Or maybe what he might not say.

[christopher peyton james]

Hell, Kenzie He turned to her. He didn't want to. He wanted to walk away, But he knew he couldn't. He wasn't that type of person. He loved her. And even though he hadn't wanted to be a father for some time, He loved that baby as well. He walked over to her, wrapping his arms around her. Kissing the top of the head. I wish you would have told me sooner. And for the record, it wouldn't have ruined my life. A child, you. Together could only make it better. We were both hurt and upset when we said those things. I am Sorry, I didn't mean any of it. I love you He shook his head, looking into her eyes. Chris hoped she believed it when he said I love you, because it was completely true. He wasn't expecting a reply, he knew it would take her some time. He was 22, she was younger. There was an age difference. She probably didn't love him back, and that was okay, because maybe, she could learn to.

[mahkenzie lee garland]

Kenz eyed him as he turned to face her with words of frustration. She knew she had made some bad choices tonight. And she knew that he had been upset not only about her walking out on him, but him finding her at a bar. He seemed almost jealous when he had asked if she was waiting for someone. She knew she had hurt him, she hadn't meant to. She had not thought that he would be so upset about it. In fact she had figured he would have been over it by now. But after everything that had happened that night, it was obvious he was not over it. And she felt horrible for some of the things she had said to him. Never had she lowered herself as much as she did earlier.

She felt his arms around her and the tears flowed more freely. She sighed softly hearing his words. It amazed her how awesome it felt to hear him say that. He loved her. And she did not doubt him at all. Her heart began to race. The tears stopped. She sighed lightly again. Did she love him? That she was not sure of. She knew she cared for him a bunch. And she really was not that upset to be having a child with him. Of course it seemed soon. She wished it had come later in her years. But it had come now, and she had no choice but to deal with the situation like an adult would. "I was scared. I am scared... of you. I love you, and that scares me. I don't want to get hurt. That's why I ran from you." she spoke the words with meaning. She meant it. Every single word of it.